Pausing, Pondering and the Past

I am holding my favorite coffee cup, the steam rising, watching the snow gently fall with a sense of peace enveloping my moment.  I am resting.  Recouping my strength after a four-week, four-country ministry trip.  Internet access was sketchy which is why I dropped off the radar.  In the quiet, I am reminded....

A couple of weeks ago I spent two and a half hours walking through 6,000 years of history - Armenian history.  Looking at ancient maps, walking amongst broken pottery, rudimentary tools & weapons formed 12 millennia before Christ tends to make you feel just a little bit small in this universe.  I kept thinking, “These were lives lived and died; struggling just to survive; souls created by God living thousands of years ago.”  My mind was whirling as I imagined  them discovering how they could dig out rocks, stones and metals and make a weapon...or a shovel...or even a spoon. When did they realize they needed a lid for a pot?  Even to view the progression of tools, jewelry, eating utensils and dishes over the millenniums was astounding. Their first cart with a wooden wheel made transporting so much easier.   A display held the “first shoe” ever discovered in the world....animal skins/leather formed to fit a foot to protect it from the rocky soil.

 Walking through the halls, we edged further into history, rounding the corner of the ages to when Christ was born.  That first century.  Looking at history being lived out while Jesus walked in Palestine.  The same type of crude dish he may have eaten from; the jewelry worn by women of the day, and yes, again, the weapons used to further man’s struggle for power and their kingdoms.  Over and over again, men fighting for their beliefs, their people.  So many wars, battles and conquests of ancient lands.

Our journey took us from viewing “idols” and ritual altars to the first churches.  The buildings housed for new beliefs. Thaddeus and Bartholomew were the apostles who came to Armenia in that first century after Christ. Christianity being declared the official religion of Armenia in 301 AD.   (St.) Gregory having been imprisoned for years, shared his faith with King Tiradates III and officially introduced Christianity to Armenia.  The alphabet for the Armenian language was written around 387 AD, so the Bible could be written in a language uniting the regions, culture and people of Armenia.

Kings and queens evolving into the presidents and prime ministers of current history.  Deciding what to do with “the Armenians” ? The horrific genocide of the Armenian peoples in 1915 - 1918 from the hands of the Ottoman Empire.  Boundaries shifted, peoples displaced and exterminated.  A quote from someone in the Ottoman leadership “No Armenian people, No Armenian question.”  A black tragedy in the history of this incredible nation and still very much remembered today.  A friend told me “it is the identity of the Armenians...this genocide...it is who they are...their history.”

 Rounding the last corner into more recent days....World War II,  Stalin, the “liberation” of Armenia by the Russians, Armenia the Republic, the Iron Curtain and communism.  Culminating in the nineties, the fall of the curtain and the independence of the “republics” and Eastern Europe.

My mind was reeling from 6,000 years of history and a people I have grown to love. I felt like I was in a time warp.  Walking the snow covered streets passing adults and children enjoying the afternoon in an ice skating rink, I was transported back to 2014.  Grabbing some Armenian “fast food” (schwarma - similar to a Greek gyro) we hurried to get to a meeting on time where we were privileged to be teaching God’s Word to young, hungry hearts.

I sat and listened to the testimony of a young Armenian woman whom three years ago discovered how much this God of creation loves her.  Her past struggles of survival and rejection in a world that did not recognize her beautiful life and soul.  I was reminded in the vast expanse of thousands of years preceding my own existence...all those lives and history I just walked through, God has never changed.  He has always loved mankind - through the struggles, wars, genocides and our constant turning away.  I looked at stone idols set up through the centuries.  No wonder God got angry in the Old Testament with idols.  His beautiful creation, His awesome world, the stones He created being made into something to worship when HE and HE alone should be the “worshipped One”.  He isn’t sitting in a museum somewhere, cold, grey and forgotten.

As Alisa shared her story of God’s love and forgiveness, her own heart and life being set free when she discovered His fatherheart towards her, my heart rested in knowing that in thousands and thousands of years of history what still matters most is God loving us. Jesus coming for us. Forgiveness. Redemption.  Reconciliation.  Relationship. Freedom.  HE was there in the beginning and HE will be there at the end.

Proverbs 8: 22-31 puts this into perspective :)

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Grace, Thankfulness, Day by Day

New Year, new week, new word....living day by day.  I started a new devotional which is based off a best seller.  I have wanted to read this book for some time, and came across her devotional.  Day to day suits me right now.

I have a birdhouse right out my bedroom window and as I am having my devotions each morning, I see the tiny sparrows alighting and eating.  Yes, this is for me right now :)  It's all about grace and thankfulness in each day.  In every moment.  Day by day.

Just a few thoughts...and I am quoting Ann Voskamp :

"Eve's thanklessness for all God does give and her resentfulness of the one fruit He doesn't give, this is the catalyst of the fall."  In typing this, I realized I read it wrong the first time; I read her 'restlessness of the one fruit'.  Still rather fits, I think.

"Our fall is always a failure to give thanks."

"All the wickedness in the world begins with an act of forgetting."  (Mark Buchanan)

In the proverbial nutshell - When we FORGET, we don't THANK GOD.  Paul begins his letter to the Romans with "First, I thank my God..."  Romans 1:8

Thankfulness.

Day by Day.

Not forgetting.  God tells the Israelites OFTEN to write it down, write it down, write it down, lest they FORGET.  This is why.

I love journaling.  Going to do it even more this year.  Day by day.  Lest I forget.  Not a difficult thing.  I can do this. Not just in November.  Day by day.

In the mess of the day....in the busyness of getting ready for a month of intense ministry....in the joys and in the struggles.

"First, I thank my God...."

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2014 One Day At A Time

2014...Wow!  Not sure how this year snuck up on me but here it is staring me in the face and I am expected to "welcome" it.  I do welcome the year, with open arms, but I kind of feel like when you open your door to a guest, knowing they were coming, but they showed up an hour early.  "Hi, come on in; I'm not quite ready, but have a seat, I'll only be a minute."  So, as soon as I wipe the shocked look off my face and gather my thoughts, those arms will open wide and 'come on in 2014'

I always look forward to a new year.  New beginnings.  New goals.  New ideas, plans and visions.  A fresh page to write on.  Leaving the past behind and moving on to the new.  But when that clock struck 12:00 a.m. January 1, 2014, my book hadn't opened to that first page....yet.

Closing off 2013 was not as easy as past years for me.  Disappointments, unfulfilled expectations, and the realization that I did not accomplish all I had set out to do in these last 12 months. Some things I could control and others totally out of my hands.  Not a terrible year, but one I would like to let go of and move on.   And yet, in the middle of each and every moment of those 365 days, God was right there, holding, supporting, encouraging and making his presence known when I stopped long enough to acknowledge Him and His truth in my life.

Sometimes the "big picture" and the "visions and plans for the year" can overshadow the moment of each day and we, or I, can get overwhelmed.  I love plans, goals and writing down those resolutions for the new year.  However, when you look back and see what you didn't do, the to-do list for the coming months can become disheartening.  Not necessarily fresh to-do, but the same things which hadn't yet quite reached completion.

But in the early hours of a brand new year, God shows up and reminds me not of what I DIDN'T DO in 2013, but WHAT HE DID.  He reminds me of His goodness and faithfulness.  His constant companionship, even when we don't "feel" it.  His plans according to His timetable.  His day-to-day friendship, which by the way, is the life source of which all my/our plans should flow.

Day-to-day.  One day at a time.  One dream at a time.  One moment at a time of His goodness being revealed to me, so that when I look back, my days are literally overflowing with dreams, plans and desires being fulfilled....one day at a time.  Seriously, friends, if I look at the year in total, it kind of scares me.  But if I take today, and then tomorrow, and the next day, life gets done.

A month-long ministry trip ahead, continued support-raising for the life He has called us into, one still in college, and one returning; one living her life thousands of miles away,  And our newest exciting news of the year, our youngest daughter getting married in August!  Just the wedding plans can intimidate me :)  Heart dreams....writing...teaching....photography....big deep breath.

Jesus is calling me to...

One   Day   At   A   Time

One day at a time....to rest in Him; enjoy Him; walk, talk, dream with Him; feed on His Word...one day at a time.  One day at a time.....to enjoy family.  One day at a time....to give to others....feed others....give time, energy, resources, life to others.  

One day at a time....BEGINNING and ENDING WITH HIM.  I can't go wrong with that.  I won't wear myself out.   I won't become overwhelmed.  One day at a time...to dream. I can still plan, still write down ideas and visions....but the tackling of them is.....one day at a time.

This post is probably not 'practical' with a lot of how-to's in setting up your year; yeah!  I don't need practical right now, I need breathing room, space to dream and think through ideas, time to process and take on only today.

JOY awaits us in 2014.....that I firmly believe is my WORD for the year from the heart of GOD.  

My friends, let's not just "do" 2014, let's plan, dream, hope, rest and live

one  day  at  a  time

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God Has It Covered

Recently I have been hoping for someone.  Carrying a burden for a loved one.  Believing, trusting, praying.  Grabbing onto those Words meant to give us hope.  

Cast all your cares on Him.

Take My yoke upon you, for My burden is light.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

It has been a year of walking in someone else's skin and believing God to come through for them.  Hoping, hoping, hoping.  And seemingly down that road of obedience, there was disappointment, mislaid trust, unrealized dreams.  My well of hope, their well of hope was running pretty dry.

At one point, I came upon a realization, "I don't know how to hope any more." Where do I go for hope when the Place and Person I was going to seemingly isn't listening?  Seriously, I don't remember a time in my life when I felt so incredibly hopeless in my walk of faith. This just wasn't me wanting to inspire hope within my spirit, but someone I cared about.  There are many years of faith under my belt and this was something quite foreign for me.  Hope always remained on the forefront of my heart.....something I knew would take me to the next level of my life.  Where do you go when the ache in your heart has found a home and will not leave?

On a walk a few weeks ago, one of these times of looking towards heaven and asking Him...where in the world...in my world....are You?  A quiet walk.  A lonely walk.  I came back not with many answers, but a deep sense of

I cannot GIVE UP........because.......

HE does not GIVE UP

I had no new answers....no new hope, per say.....but all I KNEW was despite circumstances, despite what I "felt", and no new words of encouragement to give someone, GOD was still in control and does not give up.

Last week, as I was sitting quietly with my Bible on my lap, once again just listening.....a sparrow flew up and sat on the edge of my birdhouse.  And yes, HE spoke....."never fear, as I take care of them, I take care of you and all you care about."

A few days later our pastor shared his story of the very early hours one morning that week, a sparrow landed on his window sill and God spoke to Him of taking care of him and being very aware of his burdens.  As tears welled up in my eyes, once again a seed of hope entered my heart. It was growing!  God kept a little bird busy that morning....just for me.....just for you.

As I drove home from church that same day, waiting at a stop light, I was talking to God again of my heart.  My eyes were drawn to the writing of the license plate on the car ahead of me... "No Worries" - I love it because that is the way the Aussies of my husband's family express that it's not really a big deal. Okay....nice; then....the bottom of the license plate revealed a bigger slam/bang......"GOD HAS IT COVERED".   

Despite theology of how and when God speaks....I KNEW He spoke that very moment to a wounded spirit in the process of being restored.  My heart was overwhelmed.  I do not give up....because HE does not give up.  He is aware and He cares. Yours and my burden is not too big and you know what....He really does see farther down that road than I do.  

I am seeing hope rebirthed in my heart....in the heart of loved ones, as He arranges circumstances and our lives according to His purposes and plan.  He never left me during my "questioning" period or in my despair, He was holding my hand and asking me to relax, trust and hang onto a simple thread of hope.

Lessons were and are being learned, faith is strengthened, hope is being restored and a deeper level of trust is emerging.  Not easy, painful, dark much of the time, but one thing I know in the "in-between" and "waiting" times, if we hang on, we WILL SEE in His timing

HE

HAS 

IT 

COVERED

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He Determines My Steps

Oh my, it has been awhile....life happened and besides not blogging, I have hardly touched my camera or computer to write.  The months sped by and here November is peeking his head into my life and reminding me the holidays and quite possibly "the busiest time of the year" is upon us.  No worries...we'll grab that turkey by the horns (or is it "grab the bull by the horns") and keep moving.  I was reminded this morning of a post I did quite awhile back and it needed reposting.  Possibly for me more than anyone.   Enjoy and I will be back.... :)

SEEING BEYOND THE FOG

Driving down the road in the early morning yesterday, I was enveloped in fog.  I was amazed that I really couldn't see much except the grey concrete in front of me with the yellow stripe down the center.  I knew if I stayed in the lane to the right of the yellow line, all would be well.  It reminded me of a camping trip our family took two summers ago and I wanted to share it...as it also reminded me of a conversation I had recently with a good friend.


Our family went on this camping trip mainly because we missed doing them.  The kids are nearly all grown and a couple of them convinced us we needed to do it again before they were all busy with their lives and it wouldn't be as easy.  Plus our oldest daughter had returned from a year in London and she missed the great outdoors of the Pacific Northwest (that was nice to hear :)


Our biggest draw was Crater Lake...having lived in Oregon for so many years and we had never visited.  So my husband, myself and the two still at home went down on a Thursday evening, the others joining us when they finished work on Friday.  We found the perfect spot right on the river, outside of Crater Lake National Park, and everything about the area made this camping experience one of our best as a family.  The four of us decided to take a day trip up to the crater and then bring the others the next day when they arrived.  


Friday dawned cloudy and we headed out.  By the time we got up on top of the mountain, we were able to get some good photos, but soon were enveloped in clouds and fog.  We figured this was alright as we were still going to be there for 3 more days and the weather was sure to improve (we hoped!).  We opted to drive at least half-way around the crater and then do a hike.  As we drove on this very narrow road, we were surrounded by thick fog and clouds.  You could see the lake a bit, but on the other side, only fog.  It was eerie to be driving slowly along and not knowing what was on our left side.  We turned around because we knew we would be driving again the next day and hopefully see more.  Now, I am in the passenger seat on the right side staring at white fog, wondering what the view would be like. We did take our hike that day, staying strictly on the path, passing others doing the same, and found sunshine further down the mountain.


Saturday dawned beautiful and sunny and we ventured up to the crater...all 6 of us.  What a difference!  It was gorgeous!!  Bright blue sky, and the most incredible blue lake, with that famous island in the center.  We went nuts with photos.  But what surprised us most was what was on the other side of that road...nearly a drop off!  A beautiful forested valley....way way way down below!  Even as we drove further, I gripped the handle on the door as it was a bit disconcerting being so close to the edge.


What struck me then (and yesterday) is there are times we find ourselves in a "fog" of sorts, not knowing or seeing what God is saying to us.  We started out on a path in obedience to His word to us, understanding our way.  When sometimes suddenly, sometimes not so suddenly, we only see the road in front of us, a few steps ahead perhaps. We don't see beyond that - too much fog. But this I know...and the two experiences gave me a visual...if I stay on the right path of His last word to me, I will get through the fog and find the sunshine again.  If I get scared or try to find my way by deviating off the road, who knows what is there...maybe a drop off - of which could really delay me!  I walk this road of faith knowing the One who is directing me, if I just stay on His path and try not to make my own road. Not always easy, but more often than not, I just need to relax and let Him do the driving.

Proverbs 16:9 says "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."  I love that I can plan my way, and if my heart is really geared towards Him, he will determine those steps and direct them to His will for my life.


So, today my friends, if you find yourself in a fog...or your circumstances don't seem to let you get too far down the road, remember He can and will determine your steps and....the sun is out there waiting to break through! 

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Stories Hiding in Inconvenient Places

I am still here!  Really!  I did not drop off the face of the earth, just took some time off to get some other pressing tasks done.  And to be honest, just not in much of a writing mood (could be the heat or those long warm days of summer taking over).  I have been reading a lot, which usually makes me want to write, but for some reason, this summer, my mind has not been in writing mode.  Prayerfully, this will change as summer winds down and the autumn kicks into full gear.  We have a busy few months ahead and would love to blog about some of the adventures.  Australia, central and eastern Europe will be on the radar :)

We will be visiting my husband's family "down under" soon as it has been five years since he was last home.  A far overdue visit!!  But considering it will still be winter there (southern hemisphere), I am enjoying the warm summer days here in our neck of the woods before having to give that up. I hoped we would get some warm sunny days before we leave and have not been disappointed.  I have been able to fit in picking raspberries, blueberries, grilling meats and veges on the barbeque and drinking lots of ice tea.  I also spent a full week helping with our Vacation Bible school the end of June where over 150 children were involved.  It was an unbelievable week and I enjoyed it immensely.....although I will confess, I don't have the energy I once had when it comes to the young ones :)

These weeks have given me time to process in my mind and heart as to the direction my writing should take.  A couple of ideas and projects are ruminating. For some months now I have been working and writing of the journey God took my husband and I on, as we served Him individually in other countries, and how amazingly He brought us together.  It is a story of waiting, listening, and when God began to speak (and very clearly), we moved in obedience and saw His stamp of approval on our relationship.  It is a story of God's sovereignty and interaction in the lives of two people who only wanted to please and serve Him.  I am currently pulling all the strings of the story together so it can be a blessing to others.

Also ahead, hundreds of stories of years of ministry are yet to be told.  God has written chapters through our lives....and yours....awesome stories that future generations need to hear! Years ago, I was part of a group of people in a missions community living in a small village in Austria.  We lived in a little castle on a hill.  We traveled back and forth sharing the Gospel and encouraging the church in eastern Europe and Russia.  If the walls of that castle could speak, books would be written! The adventures, the provisions of God, the miraculous ways God met us and led us, all need to be put on paper.  This was way before the doors opened and the "wall" fell.  Several of us were reminiscing the other day over some of those adventures and we are beginning to think, the stories must be told!  One of my favorite quotes is "If your story is never told, it becomes something else...forgotten."  I don't want these stories forgotten because there is a "whole lotta praise and glory" to be given to God for all He has done!  If you are one of those who lived with us in Austria, contact me....we would love for your stories to be part of this idea.

Lastly, my husband has his own incredible story of forgiveness which flows out of his life.  As he travels and shares, many are responding to the tug of God on their heart to forgive those who have wounded them early in life.  They have lived in emotional and spiritual bondage because of unforgiveness and as they open up their hearts and confess, and then forgive others, God is setting them free!  We are compiling stories of such freedom.  The worldwide problem of the "fatherless", whether through actual abandonment or the wounding of the earthy father and mother holds many a tale of those who are finding healing.

Could I ask a favor?  Could you please pray the compiling and writing of these God stories becomes reality?  We so very much want to do this and need the prayers of friends to keep me and us, on course.  Between travel, family, and just plain ole' life, time doesn't stand still for me.  I also am challenged by this quote by an author and speaker whom from I have learned so much.

"I had to find time to practice (writing) in the margins of life...using the excuse 'I don't have enough time' isn't true....I do have enough time; it was just hiding in 'inconvenient' places." Jeff Goins

Pray I inhabit those inconvenient places and set my heart and mind to writing stories that need to be told.

In closing, I said I have been doing a lot of reading.  Summer is one of my favorite times for reading; of course, so is winter, spring and fall....I just plain love to read!  In another blog post in a day or so, I will post links to my favorite reads so far this summer.  I think you will really like them!

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When Harry Met Gabby

There are some people you meet in life that you will never forget.  A word they said and where you met will always hold a treasured place in your memory.  I knew such a person.  This is his story.

Situated on the central coast of Italy, an hour west of Rome sits a small coastal town that in the latter l970's was a transiting center for Russian Jewish emigrants.  They were legally leaving the Soviet Union and either beginning a new life in the homeland of their heritage, Israel, or temporarily living outside of Rome, awaiting sponsorship from the multitudes of organizations helping Russian Jewish families at that time.  Australia, Canada, and America were destinations opening their doors to the "tired, poor, huddled masses yearning to breathe free".

Here on a warm spring day I met Harry.  I am Gabby.  Actually it is "Debby", but for some reason the Russians had a bit of a difficult time saying the "De", so hence, I became "Gabby".  Not a problem, as long as it sounded like it came from an exotic shortened version of Gabriela and not that I had a problem with a running mouth.  Of which I do, but that is beside the point.

Harry was a short, gentle, white-haired grandfatherly man from Odessa, whose name was actually Evgeny.  They all want to "Americanize" their names, so he chose Harry.  Okay for HRH Prince of England, but I would have gone with something different for Evgeny.  Nevertheless, that is what he chose.  He was the kind of old soul you immediately wanted to take home and keep. The grandfather you wanted to take care of and protect from harm.  His wife, on the other hand, looked like a commandant from Siberia.  No smile, untrusting and not at all happy I had come into their lives.  Never mind that I was a full head taller than he and at least 40 years younger.

We met by word-of-mouth advertising for English classes.  Our team was living and serving the local Russian population by teaching English as a second language, preparing them for life in their new land and introducing them to their heritage. We held Bible studies for those who were interested.  But these were a people who, though Jewish, had for the last 70 years been denied knowledge of their background.  We often were met with blank stares when asking them, "Do know who Abraham or Moses are?"  Turn around and ask them about God and the look was one of "you can't be serious?"   We loved these people and decided from day one, to serve them and help in any way we could to prepare them for life ahead.  As far as introducing them to a relationship with Christ, it was a process of acquainting them first with Genesis one and beyond....the very existence of a Creator was foreign to them.  

I met with Harry three times a week, teaching him conversational English, often in his room.  Three to four families would share one apartment, each family occupying one room, with a common kitchen and bath.  Crowded, but they were used to it from their life in Russia.  Trips to the supermarket, clothing and shoe stores, and many a dinner in our home were also the backdrops of our time together.  An older man on Italian streets, not knowing the language, being jostled in the hustle and bustle of Italian life, was a learning experience in itself, not to mention the stress.  But Harry flowed with the best of them and was exuberant and anticipating what lay ahead for his new life.  He was a sponge soaking in everything He could to make it easy for his wife when they arrived in America.  

The day came after about three months, when Harry got word they had a sponsor and were accepted to go to America.  The anxious packing, saying good-bye to their roommates and friends occupied the last days.  A good-bye dinner at our apartment on their final evening in Italy wrapped up these weeks of waiting in Italy for him and his wife.  Over spaghetti, salad and garlic bread, the atmosphere was bittersweet.  Thrilled and nervous as they were heading to their new life, sadness of our time together coming to an end. 

As we said our farewells at the door, his wife hugging me tightly with tears in her eyes, my heart again melted at God's goodness in loving others.  Loving and serving without any expectation.  She had accepted me.  Harry was another emotional scene altogether.  This is the moment I have remembered so vividly the last 34 years since I said good-bye.  Overcome with emotion, he lifted his head and said, "Thank you for being so kind to us.  No one has ever been so kind.  In Russia, we were treated with disrespect because we were Jewish.  We didn't know why.  But you, Americans, treated us like we had value...no one has ever done that.  Thank you."  

As we struggled with our own tears, we replied, "No, it is not because we are Americans."  There were actually Canadians and Australians on our team.  "It is because of God's love.  He sent us here to help you because He loves you.  He goes with you to America.  Remember He loves you."  

They said "Thank you", walked off into the night and flew to New York the next day.  Sadly, I lost track of them after a few years  But Harry is still in my heart.  I have never forgotten him and I know that God watched over Him, revealing His love to Him each day, in the hopes he would recognize that love and respond.

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