Winter And Waiting

I woke this morning to bright almost blinding sunshine pouring in through the windows.  It lit up the entire room.  An absolutely glorious scene filling me with a sense of “wow, spring is almost here”.  Then, I realized how COLD I was.  The house was cold.  My feet were cold and I needed coffee.  I also needed to build a fire to heat up the room.  And I knew, springtime was at least another 2 months away.   My heart keeps wishing - we’ve had an unusual cold, snowy, icy winter here in the Northwest and we are winter-fatigued.  We don’t get this type of weather often, so even though other parts of the country are worse off than us, we are tired of it because it is not our norm.

As I sat holding the coffee cup to warm my hands and relish in the heat of the newly built fire, it was calming as I looked out the windows to our deck.  The glass enclosing our deck was totally white, encrusted with ice.  I could only see above, the trees and blue sky.  The white iced glass prevented me from seeing my normal view.  It bothered me as I wanted to see more.  I thought, “I guess I will have to wait until it melts.”  I don’t do waiting well.  I busied myself getting my Bible to read, checking my emails and texting a friend about preparations for a Bible study we will be leading.  I read a wonderful article on “rest” and how we need to learn to stop and rest.  As I pondered the words, I glanced up and the sun had melted the ice on the glass.  I could see!  

I know I do not like to wait.  I do not like to sit still.  It makes me think I am wasting time.  So, as I busied myself, the ice melted.  Too often, I busy myself while waiting…waiting for God to come through with answered prayer.  Waiting to get what I want.  Sometimes, God wants me to wait in expectation, but doing His tasks while I wait.  Other times, it would do my heart and soul well, to stop.  And wait.  

I remember one time a few winters back, my car was covered with frost and ice when I went to leave in the morning.  I could have started the car ahead of time and let the heater defrost the windows. But that would have required patience….instead I grabbed a small piece of wood to scrape the windows (I didn’t have an ice scraper).  In doing so, I scratched the window.  We’d only had this car a month.  Once the ice melted, my window had a permanent scratch.  I was not happy and lived with that scratch for years.  

This morning I was reminded in my waiting, if I jump ahead of God in my impatience, I can damage the today.  When the ice melts (which it always will - just takes some time), I can have some scratches or repercussions of my impatience that I may have to live with for some time.  If I stop and patiently wait for God to do His work in and around me, the view will be clear in time.  

The last 3 months have been filled with aches and pains.  I had excruciating back pain in October, shoulder pain in November and in December during the holidays, I had the flu, which developed into bronchitis, which I have since suffered with twice.  I had no choice but to stop.  Stop and rest.  Something I don’t do well.  I’ve tried not to scrape away in impatience.  I’ve tried to rest for my health and be in touch with God in daily quiet moments.  It has been rewarding.  And it has been difficult.  And at times lonely. I've cried and I've laughed.  But God has been meeting me, in odd moments and with gentle revelation.  I don’t think I am done with the waiting period, but the ice is beginning to melt and I am beginning to see.  

A dear and special friend gave this Scripture to me in a birthday card in December.  How applicable it is for my life right now…”Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, come with me.  See!  The winter is past, the rain is over and gone.  The flowers have already appeared in the land.”  (Song of Solomon 2:11,12)

In the dark, cold, icy months, God has been building something in me.  And around me.  This might be true for so many of us.  If we can be patient, waiting, listening, stopping, doing only what He tells us to do (that may be tasks of serving, or it may be stopping), if we can wait, the ice will melt and the rains will stop and the flowers will once again appear.  And we will have a view….hopefully, without any scratches!