Ponder...

I must be on a "roll" :)  When was the last time I did back to back postings?   Let's just say, I am really glad my heart and spirit are being refreshed daily as I enter this new year.

Today, I came across...

** Luke 9:10-17 (yesterday's reading should have been Luke 8 and somehow I read Luke 10; oh well, God had something to say no matter what schedule I am using :)  

Sometimes God's provision will come in a way that is not "normal" or "natural" to us....if Jesus is in our midst, we will "see" it and make room for it.  Do we make room and allow for it?  Do I see it?

** Luke 9: 32-36   "Forget the natural (the building of a shelter seemed natural to Peter) and listen (pay attention) to  My Son."

Often we are so caught up in the "natural", our lives, what is normal to us....we live in the natural, but our eyes need to be looking out for His ways, His provision, His words to us....HIM in our midst.  Am I willing to rid my life of the clutter, stress and distraction that keeps me in the normal?  Will my day, my week...my year be different if I do really, truly look out for and experience HIM in each and every moment of my "normal"  daily activity?

From His heart to mine to yours.....let's live in the middle of what He is doing and wants to be "seen" doing :)

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Portions to Ponder

"The reason one writes isn't the fact he wants to say something. He writes because he has something to say."  F. Scott Fitzgerald


A year ago when I set up this blog I determined that I would only write when I "had something to say".  I love writing (and talking :) but I resolved in my heart and mind to only write when I felt God Himself leading me to say something that resounded in our hearts.  Hence, the heart 2 heart...

There have been light blogs...there have been "cheesy" blogs...at the times I felt light and "silly". And there have been the postings of a more serious note.  Sometimes there have been long days in between my digital thoughts.  Days and weeks of me catching up to life.

Those last weeks of 2012 I wrestled with writing...what do I have to say; the holidays wore me out a bit and nothing was stirring in this old heart of mine.  Today, as I quietly sat with my cup and waited for "my portion", my heart reawakened.  Sometimes, all it takes is to stop and be quiet!!

Psalm 16, verse 5, "Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup."  So, once in awhile, you will see me posting my "portions to ponder".  And today, four tidbits of truth found their way into my heart - may I share them with you?

Simple, no rambling....

** Genesis 22   TRUST is a foundational stone (or pillar) of my relationship with GOD.  Without it, my relationship has nothing to stand on.'

** Luke 10:16   PEACE...I have a resource of peace to bestow on those whose lives I touch.  I am a conduit of the PEACE that comes from TRUST.

** Luke 10:33   NEIGHBOR...our "neighbor" is the one whom everyone else passes by...

** Luke 10:38-42  HOSPITALITY...Hospitality opens a door to sit at the feet of Jesus.

What do we do with this?  Are they simple words, or do they find a place in our hearts to be nurtured into life altering truth?  So, from His heart to mine....from my heart to yours....

Photo: FreeFoto.com

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Good-bye 2012 :)

My mind cannot wrap itself around the fact that this is the last day of the year.  2012 is almost the past.  Thoughts of resolutions, goals and dreams for 2013 have barely had time to formulate in my heart and mind.  Even as I look at this blog, I realize during the holiday months, I barely wrote.  Life took most of my time.

2012 was a good year for us.  Not necessarily in terms of what the world calls "good".... the jobs were few and far between, but each and every ministry trip was provided for.  We watched our pennies, but God was incredibly faithful as we continued to support the missionaries we care about and believe in their efforts for the Kingdom of God.  Jim ministered in 10 different locations around the world and I was able to accompany him on two of the journeys.  The heart of a father and the heart of Our Father was conveyed to many who needed to be reminded of His deep love and compassion for them.  We saw hearts open up and lives healed.  We experienced Him freeing people.  We felt His anointing and knew that all that took place was because of Him and we just got to be a part of it.  At the close of 2012, there are sons and daughters worldwide with a smile on their face because they know their Father loves them.  To God be the glory....great things HE HAS DONE.

2012...we .....

**traveled
**prayed
**loved people
**welcomed two older children back into our home to provide an environment where they can get on their feet, find work in their field of education and begin to pay off school loans
**celebrated young friends beginning their lives together in marriage
**rejoiced as young couples began their own families
**celebrated 26 years of marriage and marveled at God's goodness to us in all those years!
**had our hearts touched and challenged over the human trafficking situation in the world, especially in the area of the world where we are mostly involved...Russia and central and eastern Europe.
**ministered for the first time in new nations, Moldova, Tadjikistan and Kazakhstan
**visited family for first time in Kazakhstan
**had for the first time the surprise opportunity to minister and teach in a discipleship training school here in the U.S.
**sent our youngest daughter off to Germany to do a discipleship training school and be involved in an outreach into Asia.
**had the blessing of having my mother with us for her 84th birthday in July, and Christmas this year.

For us....2012 was a good year :)

So many blessings, so many opportunities to see God work in and through us and see Him show us how much He cares for others.  So many stories.   I know one of my desires for 2013 is to write those stories for others to hear.  Been a desire for a long time, but making the time for it requires discipline and effort of which I have yet to master.  2013...could be a year of that desire finding fulfillment.

2013 is already taking shape with travel plans to share the love of the Father and His great heart for people.  I'm sensing "new opportunities".... maybe new beginnings....all I know is we want more of His heart for the world.  His love for us.  Even as I ponder my "resolutions", my "dreams" and "goals" for the coming year, what comes to mind is the Scripture that says "I resolve to know Jesus and Him crucified." 1 Corinthians 2:2  I love the Message version:  "when I came to you, I didn't try to impress you with polished speeches or the latest philosophy.  I deliberately kept it plain and simple...first Jesus and who He is, then Jesus...and what He did."  My deepest heart's desire for 2013 is to know Jesus, plain and simple....who He is...and what He did...and what He continues to do.

This morning I got up to get myself a cup of coffee and sit back, relax and write.  Out of the window I saw our family of deer meandering through the trees.  They were so peaceful, not at all worried about what a new year might bring.  I felt peaceful as I watched them.  Then... I ran for my camera, and opened the door as quietly as I could.  As usual, a deer's "antennae" are super-tuned, and they heard me.  I got a photo, but the moment was spoiled.  How many times, I reflected, are our moments of peace ruined because we move too quickly or let busy-ness steal the moment.  Sometimes I think I need to just sit and enjoy the peace, capture the moment in my mind and heart where it can last forever.

As I reflect back on 2012...all the joys...and all the horrific events that took place in our world, more than ever....we need to have an answer.  I know of no where else to look, but Jesus, who "alone has the words of eternal life" and can bring a peace when no other can.  All I "know" is....no one else has brought me peace and clarity in my life as Jesus has.  Each year in passing, as I looked back... some years I have never wanted to see again, other years were incredible, all different and all left a unique feeling....of gain, of loss, of joy, of sadness, lessons learned, victories won, battles fought, mountains climbed and valleys of rest.  As we close out the year of 2012....whether it has been good or bad for you.....whatever those 12 months held for you....I wish you peace....I wish you a new found joy in 2013....and I wish you the love of the Father and His Son to be refreshed anew in your heart.

Tomorrow is 2013 .....wrap up 2012 as a gift and the lessons it held for us.  Open 2013 as a new gift and may it reveal surprises of joy and new life!

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The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Lights, music, parties, sales, trees, decorations, Santas, Salvation army volunteers on every corner, commercials...commercials....commercials....it's that time of year again.  It snuck up on us like that birthday with a "big 0" .   Just as we are ridding ourselves of that "full" feeling of turkey, stuffing and pie, we are pulling out the boxes, cutting that tree and changing the look of our entire house.

I actually love this time of year, following on the footsteps of another favorite season.  Like autumn, I relish the smells, sights and sounds of the holiday season.  The day after Thanksgiving, I am getting down the boxes and setting up Tinseltown in my home.  Although there is not a Santa Claus to be seen, there are lots of fairy lights and candles.  And I try to make the festive feeling in my home last as long as possible.  

Okay, not my home, but isn't it a picture of Christmas coziness?

As I put up some garland and lights yesterday, I tuned into a local radio station that plays non-stop Christmas music.  Lively, sentimental, rock-around-the-clock Christmas music.  It was fun.  I was by myself (that part not so fun), but I did get the job done.  Only thing left is the tree, of which I have recruited my oldest daughter and the boyfriend of my youngest daughter to help adorn the centerpiece of the living area.  Normally, my youngest daughter and I make this a yearly ritual and memory as we do it together...eggnog and lights.  She is away in Germany right now and Christmas in China on a missions trip, but I wasn't about to tackle the tree by myself.  Hence, my offer to feed and furnish music to finish the last of the festooning and garnishing of the season.

Yesterday as I was sweeping up the needles, I was again bombarded with "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" from the radio...for probably the 6th or 7th time that day.  As the thought of "not again" crept in, I stopped in my tracks and realized not once had I heard a song that mentioned Jesus.  All day long the tunes were played, and no "Oh, Come All Ye Faithful", no "Joy to the World", no "Little Town of Bethlehem".  (whoops, sorry, they did play "Little Drummer Boy").  But overall, not a mention of the whole reason for the season.  I was saddened as I thought about how the music most people love and listen to at Christmas is not the heart and soul of Christmas at all.  Jesus replaced with "Last year I gave you my heart, the very next day, you gave it away."  Seriously???

We are coming into the Advent season...those four weeks (Sundays) prior to Christmas where we prepare for the "coming" of Jesus.  (you can read past posts from Decembers on meaning and tradition).  However, to borrow a thought I read recently in an email from a friend..."Advent derives from the Latin and means coming or approaching.  For those of us who travel a lot, nothing is more valued as we approach our destination than to be warmly welcomed; a welcome symbolizes so much, almost becoming sacramental."  Oh, the years of traveling where when I finally reached where I needed to be, that welcome meant more to me than any gold or riches.  That feeling of "you are welcome here....let me make you comfortable".  "Let me make you understand the journey you just took is worthwhile and valued....we appreciate why you came and the sacrifice it took to get here."

May I offer the suggestion as we finish off November and enter into "the most wonderful time of the year" and the busiest, that we take time to ponder "who" we are welcoming.  He's come on quite a journey, He's paid a heavy price to come, He's the real and only reason for this celebration, and He came for you and for me.  And He is worthy of the most awesome WELCOME we can provide.

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Windows of Latvia

Again, a post on windows.  There's something about windows in other nations that fascinates me. It isn't just the color or creativity, although that is a biggie with me.  But often as I walk down the streets of towns and villages, I wonder...

"Who is behind that window?"

"Is there a mother tending to her children?  Are they playing while she prepares their lunch of cabbage soup and black bread?"

"Perhaps there is a grandmother sitting at a worn old table, sipping her hot tea and reflecting on her years."

Often my heart wants to embrace the smells, the stories, the wonder behind the windows.  Windows that set right up against the sidewalk, seemingly inviting you to come in.  What lives are being lived out behind the framework and the pane?

And so...the windows of a town in the north of Latvia along the Baltic Sea.....

Perhaps a family awaiting a letter from a son or daughter in a faraway land...

I could just smell the "borscht" cooking for lunch...

I couldn't resist this guy....he was looking out his "window"...

A room with a view... in Riga...

Who wouldn't want to wake up to this ??

Anyone who has been in my home can attest to the fact that I don't like window coverings.  I like to see out.  I love light.  I want the outside in...

But it also allows others to see in (helps to live in the country where your neighbors aren't hugging the side of your house :)  Windows let us see out, but they also let others see in.  Hmmm...metaphorically speaking, do we allow others to see into our lives?  Are we vulnerable enough to want community and relationship with those around us to allow our windows to be open for them to see?  Or do we cover the windows of our life to keep people out?  I wonder if perhaps there isn't someone who wants to see beyond the window and sit down with you or me,  have a cup of tea and share our stories.  Lives are being lived out behind those windows.  Now that's a great line for a post....

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Unwanted, Abandoned, Deleted

From my heart to yours...

Walking the streets of old town Riga we came upon a sight I will never forget.   Entering the main square on Freedom Boulevard, you find yourself looking to the opposite side where a monument rises 138 feet upward.  The Freedom Monument was constructed to honor the soldiers killed during the Latvian War of Independence (1918 - 1920).  In more recent years, I have heard it called Lady Freedom.  She is holding her arms upward lifting three stars which center around the theme "Shine like a star".

Around the base of the monument there are pictures and sculpting depicting various aspects of Latvian life and history.  One of these is entitled "Family", a mother with two children.  I found it ironic when I saw what was in front of me. What I will never forget is what has been laid out in the square in the foreground of the monument.

Concrete sculptors of babies who have lost their lives out of fear, inconvenience, ignorance and modern day contraception.

Perhaps if your eyesight is better than mine...you can read some of the inscriptions...

Our hearts grieved over the sight, yet part of me was proud of those Latvians who are brave to face their society and put this out there....

One side of a plaza honoring those who gave their lives in a war for freedom (and rightly so) and opposite a display of those whose lives were taken from them.  Neither should be forgotten.

As I was editing, deleting and tweaking this post, I was reminded of how quick we are to "delete" what is unwanted.

There is a Father in Heaven.  There is a God who wants.  There is a God who does not delete.

Sorry if this posting is heavy and leaves our hearts deeply saddened.  It should.  It is very visual and should impact our lives.  It is meant to.  God give us hearts of love, deep love, patience and compassion, to reach out to those who too quickly and in anguish press the "delete" button in their lives.  Help us to be the arms, feet and heart of Jesus to bring love, forgiveness, redemption and freedom to those around us.

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Friends, Forgiveness & Finding the Way Home

I (we) are back home.....my husband after 5 weeks of travel and myself, being able to join him in the last two weeks.  We had a wonderful time, took lots of photos, spent time with many old and wonderful friends and made some incredible new ones!  Our faith and trust in God grows deeper during these adventures as we have the privilege of touching lives, connecting and experiencing Him come through for us (and them!).

Kazakhstan, Armenia and Latvia....different cultures, different people, but all the same need and heart cry that comes forth.  We want to be loved, we want to feel worthy of that love.  For those that never had the love and acceptance of a father (or a mother), that cry resounds all the more deeply.  Words of acceptance never spoken over a life.  A childhood of rejection and abuse.  Hearts struggling to let go and be vulnerable to love.  Minds wrestling with forgiveness towards those that have wounded us.  We are all the same, we all have the same need....wanting to love, be loved and connect with those around us.  When we share the love of a heavenly Father, it can be difficult to really embrace that love or understand it when an individual has not even experienced that in their own life with a physical father. The ministry my husband and I endeavor to impart is the love of a father (& mother) to those whose hearts yearn for connection and relationship, especially to their Father above.

We had the privilege to meet so many dear new friends who opened up their lives and hearts to the love of a heavenly Father who says to them "I love you....I am well pleased with you....you are my son....you are my daughter."   Lives which chose to be vulnerable enough to say "I forgive my earthly father for this.....I forgive my mother for abandonment.....I forgive....I forgive....I forgive."  And to let the love of a Father bring healing.  There is no greater key to freedom than forgiveness.

Ivo, a young man after God's heart !

A new friend who found freedom, joy and healing in the Father's love

Another highlight for us was being able to attend a conference of teams that came from around the nation of Latvia.  These teams belong to the missions group we were a part of for over 20 years.  Twenty-one years ago we led the first Discipleship Training School in Latvia.  What a joy and privilege to once again connect, share memories, renew vision and challenge to grow during the transitions and seasons we find ourselves in.  As we laughed and reminisced over shashlik (shish-kabob) and hot tea, we found ourselves deeply grateful to be a part of a family worldwide that is trusting God, seeing Him move in and through their lives, and nurturing hope and vision for the future.

A real joy for us to be with David, our Latvian/American friend whose family

we have known for over 20 years.

Being able to visit Riga, the capital city of Latvia, at the end of our time was another treat.  Staying with a close friend of many years, dinner in an Uzbek restaurant with old friends, seeing the old city of Riga once again and having an incredible lunch with a great lady who was in our first school we led in Russia.  Disneyland has it right when it says....its a small world after all....

Have to mention the trip home....venturing out for a meal in Amsterdam...hubby leading the way, my suggestion to "try this street" and finding ourselves in the red light district of Amsterdam....then quickly trying to find our way out. It was an "eye opening" or rather an eye-closing experience.  Thank God for the ministries working in this area.  Your heart breaks for the girls/women who have been trafficked and have lost all respect for themselves. We know of several ministries working in this district and we greatly respect them for their diligence.  They are heroes to us!

And more....eating out and on the run...enjoyed "Viennese schnitzel" in a Mexican restaurant on the canal - odd combination :)  Discovered we had the "status" to sit in the business lounge at Amsterdam airport early on the morning of our flight home.....incredible breakfast, coffees, drinks, and watching the sun rise over the jet way.  And all free of charge!   I was glad hubby traveled so much at that moment in time :)

We've now been home a week, finally recovering from jet-lag.....it takes longer at our age :)  An old friend (we seem to have a lot of these :)  staying in our home for several days and just getting back to normal.  I am not sure what "normal" is anymore, but it is nice to be home. Lots of photos to share when I get to it....but here's a few.

Hay fields in rural Latvia

Our "home away from home"

Our international family of students 

Great new friends with a heart to grow and learn!

View from the conference center

North Sea...we didn't go for a walk as it began to rain as soon as this photo was taken :(

"Lagman" - homemade Uzbek noodles/vegetables - my husband

grew up on this as his family came through Central Asia on their

way out of Russia.

View from our friend's apartment....I could live here :)

Our "last view" before flying home

I have so many photos to share, but some go with stories...so more to come!  We found our way home...as did dear friends on this trip who found their own "way home" into the arms of a loving Father.  We felt so privileged to be able to share and pray with them; and hold the dream and desire to one day be reunited.  For those of you who "sent" us, rejoice with us in that many seeds were planted, watered, and nourished in the Kingdom of God.  Thanks again for your prayers and support of us.  Now...I may go take a nap before sitting down and doing some more writing :)

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