Valentine Days Gone By...

Ask my family...I love holidays and rarely does one go by without celebrating or at least decorating a room or two.  Growing up as a young girl, my mom would give my brother, sister and I each one of those 99 cent boxes of chocolate and had them waiting for us at breakfast.  This “tradition” carried over into my own family when I had children, although as they grew older, we graduated from small boxes to Toblerone or Lindt’s, and I added a candle burning with love by their breakfast plate.  In my mind, you can never express love too much to those you hold dear to your heart.

I know memories of this day are not always pleasant for a lot of people...the pain of childhood when you didn't get a Valentine and everyone else did. Or you longed for a boyfriend when your friends all had one. Or there was pain surrounding the season you were in.  But, as with any holiday, there are good memories to be remembered as well. And that is what I want to do today...remember good things.   My first Valentine’s Day with my husband-to-be, an evening out with a box of chocolates and flowers.  When our four children came along, red vinyl hearts were plastered on windows and the day was filled with baking heart-shaped cookies.  I would cook a special dinner by candlelight which all 6 of us would enjoy around a large table filled with love. Red cardboard hearts dangled from the lights. Once or twice, we ended the meal with a heart-shaped cake covered in pink frosting and red sprinkles.

As the children grew and went out with friends, my husband and I would sneak away for a quiet romantic dinner.  Once we actually remembered to make reservations well ahead of time!  A new restaurant opened ON Valentine’s Day.  It was packed, but we had reservations!  Years ago when we were first married, visiting my husband’s family in Australia, we were walking through a mall on Valentine’s Day and saw red hearts in the window.  We gasped, looked at each other and burst out laughing.  We had both forgotten!  And we’ve enjoyed Valentine’s Day dinner at church with other couples choosing to spend it with friends, laughing and sharing funny romance stories!  

The last couple of years my husband has been involved in missions trips, teaching in Bible schools and I’ve found myself without my husband on Valentine’s Day.   No pouting for me!  I have enjoyed a candlelit fancy home-cooked meal which my youngest daughter and I prepared together.  Just the two of us as we talked about relationships, romance and the right way to do this thing called marriage.  Trust me, that Valentine’s dinner was priceless!

Fifty-seven years encompassing my childhood, 27 years of marriage and 26 years of children all celebrating a day where I get to pour love on those who are so important to me.  Memories I wouldn’t trade for anything...not even chocolate :)

btw...for those who read the blog yesterday...yes, I am by myself for this Valentine's Day, BUT I did get taken out for a lovely breakfast and roses before he left!  He is the best!

Happy Valentine's Day....today, show "someone" that you care about them!

Read More

To Love or Not To Love on Valentine's Day

I remember the first box of chocolates I ever received from a boy.  It was second grade.  It was a big heart shaped box.  It said "I love you" scrawled over the top of the cellophane.  It made my little 7-year old heart go pitter patter.  Fast forward 50 plus years...and it makes this mother's heart go "WHAT??!! Are you kidding?  What does a 7-year old boy know about love?  Rather what does a 7-year old girl do with that "love"?  And...now that we are on it, what mother let her 7-year old son do that?"  Okay, we live in a different world now.  Back then, it was "innocent".  And it was the first really big box of chocolates all to myself.   But it is a Valentine's memory big-time.

I'm always amazed at the myriad of emotions this day brings to people.  Some love it.  Some could care less.  And some vehemently hate it.  I know it is especially hard on the single unmarried.  But it always grieves me to see someone so adamantly opposed to a day of showing love.  I have read facebook posts which would have been better left unwritten; words spoken to others better left unsaid.  Out of the abundance of our hearts, our mouths speak.  I have an acquaintance that a couple of years ago, angrily voiced her feelings about this holiday.  I mean really angry words.   Interestingly today, she is married and loves the holiday.

I grew up enjoying the holiday.  Tomorrow I will post my memories :)  But for me, it was a day of sharing love (and chocolates) and cards with those you cared about.  Even those you didn't especially care about...remember all the little paper cards you made or bought and gave to everyone in your class?  Of course, there was the "pain" of not receiving one from that one guy you really wanted a mushy card from.  Or just getting a plain old one from him.  I understand the pain that comes from rejection, even in the simplest non-intended form.

But...if for a moment we could put aside the romantic relationship side of Valentine's Day and just express love to those you care about.  Family.  Friends. Even a kind caring word to a stranger.  For some, this day holds painful memories.  In our family, we have a close knit group of family friends whom we have a history with.  Years of sharing vacations, missions trips, our kids growing up together.  One year, the parents of one of the boys were away on a trip.  He was alone.  He took a rose to the other moms of the families in our group.  I was incredibly blessed...over the top!  This young man was showing Valentine's Day went beyond romance.  It extended to showing those important in your life, they were worth the love of the day.  It was one rose and it wasn't romantic, but it spoke volumes!

From my heart to yours....single, widowed, married, hurting, alone, happy but alone, ....wherever life has you for the moment (and it is a moment)....perhaps put a new perspective on this holiday...show love, a small gesture or big, appreciation to those you care about and care about you.  I am not putting light on your circumstances, just saying instead of lamenting, let's love.

In closing, here is a link that applies to couples, but when I read it, I felt it could also be applied to roommates who desire to share the love of God through their friendships and home.  A team, whether it be a couple or not, can display the love of God in creative ways to those around them. I had to share the link....

http://www.elizabethgeorge.com/2013/02/the-love-that-god-built/

btw.....I am alone this holiday.  My husband is away sharing in a Discipleship Training School (similar to a mini Bible school).  Last year, I was alone; shared the day with my daughter :)  She is away this year.  My eldest daughter has a boyfriend.  My youngest son will be working.  My oldest son probably will not spend Valentine's Day with his mom :)  That's okay.  I am happy I have a family that has a life :)  And I will spend the evening with a small group of incredible young women I have the privilege of investing into.  God is good.  Even without the romance.

Read More